In between uncomfortable realities...

Turning down ready made plans for a slight possibility...

Almost always slight possibility turns into darkness, suffocating thoughts, and songs on repeat. A strange form of self inflicted loneliness...

And so I wrestle with this reality... Why do I choose slight possibility? Perhaps, slight possibility is a promise of better company then ready made plans. Perhaps, ready made plans aren't as exciting as slight possibility. Perhaps, I need slight possibility to turn into darkness, thoughts, and songs on repeat... an excuse for me to be in that place... thinking these thoughts so often put aside.

Today I decided that slight possibility was worth waiting for... and perhaps I'll wait tomorrow as well... But at some point slight possibility has to lose the battle... I just wonder when I'll give in to the "ready made" side of things...

Tonight's thoughts accompanied by: Blackbird sung by Rachel Unthank, on Bairns

WOTD 12/1/08

Valediction: the action of biding farewell ; a farewell.

You make room. Some times it is a decision, other times it happens without you even realizing it. Never-the-less it happens. You give a little, you rearrange, and space opens up… even when you thought there wasn’t any room to begin with. This new layout, it grows on you, you start to like it. Comfort and connection, are just a part of the process.

And when time is up. (Inevitably this will always be the case)… that space you created whether physically, emotionally, or both, is left empty. For me, it is the emptiness that always seems to be the hardest part. And it can be emphasized by the most insignificant things. They catch you off guard. A reminder of what was.

Strangely, this now empty space is a sign that the relationship was significant… whether it is highlighted by the pieces of your favorite Christmas tree ornament lying on the floor, an empty room, or even a word. This is proof that you have something to be thankful for…

So you start over, and reorganize… slowly that space is filled in…

... although it will never fully reach 100%, that is o.k.... because that would leave you without memories... And I would argue that, that is point of making room in the first place