Trains

Some times something unexpected happens. For some unknown reason the universe has decided that you are in need of a little shift of scenery. From the daily comings and goings comes a little sparkle. Not in the way you may have hoped for but none the less it is exactly what you've found you've been missing for you can't tell how long.

That reminds me here is a message from the Polar Express:

"One thing about trains is it doesn't matter where
they are going, what matters is that you decide to get on."

Some words to think about.

Unwritten Words

If I were to write a letter today it would probably start with hello.
This letter would somehow be different from all the other letters I have written or will ever write. It will begin with the usual plesantries, and ask the normal questions. An attempt to rekindle a friendship that never was... for it was passed up for the promise of something else. That something else lasted for only a fleeting moment when measured against a life time, but yet that small and seemingly insignificant amount of time can change a person.

Next would come the updates. School, work, family, roomates, and any other adventure that could be considered even slightly entertaining. Humor can really be the best medicine. An attempt at "normal" whatever that is.

When composing a letter such as this, it will be the closing that takes the longest. Carefully thought out words that tie it into a neat little package. The address, a stamp, or in this case probably the send button. In any case the question is, will I ever be brave enough to follow through.

How do you find a lost pen pal?

That is my challenge at the moment. We wrote back and forth for 8 years and now it has been just about a year since I've heard from her last. I've written a few times to the last address I have... and yet no response.

Sadly the beauty of this pen and paper relationship may now cause its end. We never exchanged any other contact information.

Our correspondence started in my 6th grade class. It was an assignment... our class wrote to this a class in Finland... I don't know how we were paired up, but at the time it really didn't matter we only wrote back and forth a few times.... I left the elementary school and forgot about my pen pal. Two years later around my birthday, an odd looking letter addressed to me came in the mail. I thought it was another chain letter.... to my surprise it was my long lost pen pal from sixth grade, asking if I would like to rekindle our friendship. We began a regular dialog in care of the post office. Some times months passed, sometimes only weeks passed, but never years…

The other day I expressed my dismay to my mom... her words were something along the line as people move on...

I know I'm very guilty of letting other relationships die... this one however; I really want to put up a fight for.

This leaves me back where I started.... How do you find a lost pen pal?

Thoughts as a sound track

"Pain throws your heart to the ground
Love turns the whole thing around
No, it won't all go the way it should
But I know that the heart of life is good

You know, it's nothing new
Bad news never had good timing
But then the circle of your friends
Will defend the sliver lining"

A sampling of a whole CD that is truley stealing the thoughts right out of my head. Thankyou for your words Mr. Mayer.

One of many lessons

The trees that you see in this picture are no longer there. Destroyed by a massive fire this summer. The rock these trees called home is now charred and barron. Like a ghost community, only blackned skeletons remain of a once vibrant woods. After the rain does it's best to wash away the soot , snow will blanket and cover some of the scars. The great melting of the spring will rehydrate, and amazing as it may seem, green sprouts will emerge. Although a far cry from the towering forest that stood just 9 months before, nature regrows, rebuilds, and animals will reinhabbit. A first hand look at the cycle of life.

Many months

A summer full of many things: large cities, home towns, and weeks in the woods. Family, old friends, new friends, and man's best friend. Baseball games, summer camps, marathon paddles in the dark. In many ways the kind of summer I wasn't expecting and yet, became exactly what I needed. A time for healing and redefining. It's hard to say that it is good to be back.

Sirens

Another late night. I've put homework on the back burner for the moment, which is for the best being I'm much better at writting and studying in the morning hours anyway. I've noticed that my last few posts here have been more reflective in nature. This is a work in progress and will forever be. I'm positive that my daily trials will find there way to this venue. However, I think it is good to stop and take a moment to reflect on life as well. (that whole stop and smell the roses thing)

There were sirens sounding all over this evening. The first few I didn't really pay attention to. I just went along on my way. However, when I was at my door step I actually stopped and listened for a moment. It sounded like there were 2 sets of emergency vehicals in two different places. They could have all been coming or going from the same place, but it still felt like they were everywhere. I'm sure most people didn't even stop to think about it. It's common place if you live in a city. (In fact I'm hearing them again as I sit here and write this.)

This got me thinking. Is there ever a case when you hear these sounds and they mean something good has happened? I would say that the sirens signal emergency.... someone or something needs help, fast. For those that needed the help the sirens are a sign of hope, of help coming, for those like me who are listening it is a sign of trouble. Two totally different emotions triggered by the same sound, at the same time.

I won't ever know what happened tonight. Why the ambulances, police, and fire trucks were out in full force. Honestly, I don't really want to know. I just hope that those who were in need were given the assistance they called for. I hope those sirens brought some comfort.

(I end with the sound of the train horn... how many times have I not heard it just because I'm used to it.... some times it is a good thing to stop and listen. )

A Welcome Glow

Lights can make a place so much more welcoming. I delivered 2 weekly newspapers through out Junior high and High School. Most of the time my mom and I would deliver the papers on
Sunday at 6 o'clock in the morning.

Over the years it was like the houses and I built up a relationship. I learned shortcuts around hedges, where the mail box was, the pets and I were on a first name basis. Each house had its own personality. In the winter time those residents that kept their sidewalks clear of ice and large quantities of snow made my morning venture much less treacherous.

It was the houses that left there porch lights on all night that I looked forward to most on my early morning route. The temperature seemed to raise 10 degrees in the presence of the glow. During the holiday season those homeowners didn't know it but those holiday lights they left on during those dark and frozen mornings definitely brightened my way.

The power of wind

She wakes up in the morning. Light streaming through her blinds. Another morning. Breakfast, brush her teeth, head out side to run. The sound of her feet hitting the pavement becomes a constant eco behind the thoughts streaming through her mind. This is her time to reflect.

I love running. There have been points in my life where I've given it up for months and yet when I rediscover it I wonder why it is I gave it up in the first place. I have always been one who needs to be physically active. For me running has the power to physically and emotionally heal.

Today while out pounding the pavement as they say. I found myself running amongst the grave markers of former residents. I don't usually leave with the intention of going anywhere in particular. I like finding new places... getting lost and allowing my feet to carry me back home.

The sound of laughter, a barking dog, a man's voice yelling "there you go!!! You've got it now!" lure me out of the cemetery. As the figures come into view I find a family in the field flying a kite. The dog barking and running along side the little one who is gleefully yelling "Look at ME!" The mother and father laughing together. My feet continue on... but I am now smiling.

Mission Statement

Life happens.... Whether or not you participate in it is up to the individual. I've decided to become a player. Not that I wasn't one before.... but this time I'm going to do my very best to play every inning.

I'm hoping this will become a place where I can record my highlights and errors, and once this has become a little more established I hope to share it with friends and family. I don't expect anyone to become regulars or anything but for those who would like too, they can check in every once in a while.

I can't promise anything but an interesting ride. Enjoy!

A picture is worth a thousand thoughts

This is one of my all time favorite photos.







There is a story as there is to most any picture. However, I encorage the use of imagination...

It seems everytime I look at it I see it in a new light anyway.

(the figure sitting on the rocks is in fact me!)

Prospective

I almost died today.

A girl on roller blades darts out into a busy street of on coming traffic.
A dark SUV is hurtling towards her...
A split second decision...
The screeching of tires...
She opens her eyes untouched... but knows she was lucky.
Her friend yells "I couldn't watch".... "I thought you were dead."

I am ALIVE.